Being myself 

People call me weird, stupid , problem , bored and the list goes on .  I get call these name just because I don’t follow the way on how the world see it . Most of the times I don’t fit in but I was told ,  if I want to fit in I have to be like the majority. But why? Why can’t I be myself and be part of the society.  Why I have to follow to crowd just to get notice. It just kind of heart broken that I can’t be me and still be part of a group. I just hate I have to drink alcohol, do illegal drugs , party , wear makeup to look pretty and the list go on. All I just want to be notice but on my own term. I just want to feel love, care for, have fun, be happy, do positive stuff and people say hey that a good idea. Instead I have to hold my mouth because of fear. I just want be outside of the box not inside the box. All I just want is to have people who be there for me and not pretend. 


One thing I learn about caring for people , is that you end up hurting yourself.  In the end you end up all alone. Then you wonder why? When you look back , these people was just playing you.  It be so hard to trust people again .Cause in the back of your mind , you will be thinking would this happen again?  But the caring person still help and the cycle repeats again .

Goodbye Mr.President and Thank You

For the last eight years , we saw one of the greatest president in history of America. Not saying the other 43 president wasn’t the greatest. He create history as the first black president that no one saw coming. As a president he had some up and down,he was a cool collective no matter  how tough the job was , he had a sense of humor that would make you laugh, he stand up for the rights of people , he show that he was a family man he was and never forget to show affection to his wife in public,  he was a people person and down to earth. As a black man who was borned to a white mother and black father . He show that no matter what you skin color is or where you was born , you can make a difference in your community or country. He taught people that if we forget about color we can achieve anything once you remain focus . I can go one but I just want to say thank you Mr.Obama for the lessons you had taught us.I know you job was no easy but you make it look easy and fun.  Thank you .”Yes I can.Yes I did ” 

President of America (2009-2017)

Year in review 2016

This year is soon finish,  I excited about it. I just hope I can get my act together and make 2017  productive and interesting year. This year taught me alot. It taught me the job market is very competitive  and also people’s would also discriminate you on so much ground before them gives you a job. Hopefully 2017 is much better in finding a job. It taught me about friends and family.  When you think you have friends,  you don’t. People would use you to get through in life and turn around treat you  invisible.  The same as family , them supposed to be your pilar of strength but because you not on the same level as them you be outcast. One thing I learn when you don’t have a job people treat you differently.  Them think oh it cannot happen to them and put it back into your face. I learned that people think it ok to lie just to make the other party feel happy, although them disagree just to fit into the circle. I’m not going lie I just saw so much fake friends to other people this year and people think oh that is my friend.  But people pretend so well. I learn to be strong and have patience,  I’m not going lie most nights I get very emotional and that when I need someone to talk to or I just be there. I realized what I’m going through is long and lonely road . And people prefer to be with you through the happy times but not the bad times. I guess that is why so much marriage and relationships break up occurs. Everything wasn’t bad actually from that I learned a lot. Although, it was rough patch I enjoy my island by going site seeing unfortunately it not fun going places by yourself but I enjoy it . I love nature. I had open another blog which deal with science. That is my baby,  it still young but writing about science just make me happy. I had a friend who give me input on some of the contents it was great. It show my at least one person believe in me and my talent. I learn so much more about science than in a classroom while researching.  I miss doing science.  For 2017,  is in for ride. I know it going be an interesting year.  My main goal is to get a job so  I be  able to carried out other goals and be happy. Sometimes you have to be at your lowest and be by yourself to see your journey.

My first love

Did you had feeling or in love with someone but scare to say anything? 

Do you ever wonder you going be one of those people who going be old and thinking whats if?

Do you just sit down and randomly think ,about the person and hope them doing ok?

Do you wonder if you make the right choice?

Well this is me.  On 22nd August…..I had feelings for someone but I was scare of saying anything.  I just taught my feeling would subsides but it just grew …… I guess why I didn’t say anything because the caring person inside of me wonder what other people think of us and if I would be accepted into his circle. If I wasnt scare who knows….

Why I had feeling for him?

Over a period of times his personality is what attract me to him. He was caring , supportive,  love to laugh,can  carry on a great conversation but I think what really catch my eyes that he treat me with respect and he was not ashamed to around me. And I just felt comfortable around him. He just make me feel safe. Well of course eventually I love him for his look .

Sometimes I wonder if I made the correct choice of someone who saw me in my weakness and never judge me,  patient, always there for me… and the list goes on.

I know them say that there more fish inside of the sea. But no two fish is alike.  I remember reading in a book that said love make you do stupid things. I guess that’s me. Unfortunately I don’t think I would forget him. You never know one day…. Can you fall in love twice?