I miss my mom

I hate weekends , it the two hardest days of the whole week. You see the house be so quiet , it just feel lonely without her. You could hear a pin drop. I missed her laughter, yes my mom always laughing no matter what she be laughing, her theory was there someone out there that can’t laugh tonight because they fighting for life or not be able to wake up in the morning. I guess this is where I got my laughing from although I don’t know the last day I had a real laugh.The way she tell her stories ” Girl I have classic for ya ” smh. I mean my mom always have a story to tell sometimes I wonder, where does she get them from but them be funny. My mom was a people person don’t mind she only had one childhood or close friend but still she make time for other people especially as she call them her oversea people from high school. I miss coming home of hearing my mom voice asking me how was my day at school ? How was the test? or just some day just bitching about what went on during day, and yup I had to much of those day and still to do . I wilL just talk until my mom would okay now stop talking that enough for night. it used to make me feel better now it just big void, people always ask why you always tired? That because I be up doing work at 1 or 2 in the morning,I feel better doing it around that time than around 8 to 2. it  just remind me of my mom , she was like my study partner.

My mom was my greatest motivator, she the one that encourage me no matter how hard it is. Her dream was to see that I make something of myself because of the rough upbringing she had. Most of my schooling my mom was there for me the failures and the success , she saw it all but  my mom make it so easy , she always say I am so hard to figure out lol but i guess as she come to end of her life she had figure me out. What keep me good was my last conversation with my mom, knowing me , my mom know I am a hard person to get through and very competitive person and I guess she saw that I giving up on my dream I had since was 7, that is the graduate university and my other dream which I had found around the age 16 is to be a medical / computer scientist  , well medical scientist won over computer scientist. Most days when  it hard I always remember my last conversation my mom said to me “stay in university, be focus , get my grades up , don’t worry about fees and finish university”. Although my mom not here it will be a honor to finish university , the degree had start out as ours but it end up as mine but it still your mom. The bachelors  will always be your while the masters will be mine.

Another thing I miss about my mom is putting herself before others, I always taught my mom was doctor, nurse, social worker or something of that sort. She was always helping someone , I remember asking her,  mom you always helping others but no one does help you or us? Her reply was don’t worry about that god would bless us. Although she always helping someone, she always find time to lime or relax or whatever you call it. To tell you the truth I admired people who find time to relax because for me that a no-no. My mom was trying for years to get me relax and up to this day the word relax is not in dictionary lol.

I miss my mom , no matter it over a year . It never get easier, we had dreams, hopes and aspirations….. the list could go on .

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