Year in review 2016

This year is soon finish,  I excited about it. I just hope I can get my act together and make 2017  productive and interesting year. This year taught me alot. It taught me the job market is very competitive  and also people’s would also discriminate you on so much ground before them gives you a job. Hopefully 2017 is much better in finding a job. It taught me about friends and family.  When you think you have friends,  you don’t. People would use you to get through in life and turn around treat you  invisible.  The same as family , them supposed to be your pilar of strength but because you not on the same level as them you be outcast. One thing I learn when you don’t have a job people treat you differently.  Them think oh it cannot happen to them and put it back into your face. I learned that people think it ok to lie just to make the other party feel happy, although them disagree just to fit into the circle. I’m not going lie I just saw so much fake friends to other people this year and people think oh that is my friend.  But people pretend so well. I learn to be strong and have patience,  I’m not going lie most nights I get very emotional and that when I need someone to talk to or I just be there. I realized what I’m going through is long and lonely road . And people prefer to be with you through the happy times but not the bad times. I guess that is why so much marriage and relationships break up occurs. Everything wasn’t bad actually from that I learned a lot. Although, it was rough patch I enjoy my island by going site seeing unfortunately it not fun going places by yourself but I enjoy it . I love nature. I had open another blog which deal with science. That is my baby,  it still young but writing about science just make me happy. I had a friend who give me input on some of the contents it was great. It show my at least one person believe in me and my talent. I learn so much more about science than in a classroom while researching.  I miss doing science.  For 2017,  is in for ride. I know it going be an interesting year.  My main goal is to get a job so  I be  able to carried out other goals and be happy. Sometimes you have to be at your lowest and be by yourself to see your journey.

My first love

Did you had feeling or in love with someone but scare to say anything? 

Do you ever wonder you going be one of those people who going be old and thinking whats if?

Do you just sit down and randomly think ,about the person and hope them doing ok?

Do you wonder if you make the right choice?

Well this is me.  On 22nd August…..I had feelings for someone but I was scare of saying anything.  I just taught my feeling would subsides but it just grew …… I guess why I didn’t say anything because the caring person inside of me wonder what other people think of us and if I would be accepted into his circle. If I wasnt scare who knows….

Why I had feeling for him?

Over a period of times his personality is what attract me to him. He was caring , supportive,  love to laugh,can  carry on a great conversation but I think what really catch my eyes that he treat me with respect and he was not ashamed to around me. And I just felt comfortable around him. He just make me feel safe. Well of course eventually I love him for his look .

Sometimes I wonder if I made the correct choice of someone who saw me in my weakness and never judge me,  patient, always there for me… and the list goes on.

I know them say that there more fish inside of the sea. But no two fish is alike.  I remember reading in a book that said love make you do stupid things. I guess that’s me. Unfortunately I don’t think I would forget him. You never know one day…. Can you fall in love twice?


Memories

As I sit here looking at pictures, 

I wonder what happen? 

Where it all went wrong ?

one by one,

Sequentially,

Everyone leaves ,

just leaving you with pictures and memories.

Do not worry them say,

We got your back,

We all in this together no matter what.

Phone calls becomes less frequent. 

And conversation become shorter on social media. 

No hey, whats up or how was your day?

Sometimes you wonder if anyone cares.

But you’re ignore or get one answer reply,  

Like if you’re a bother.

Friends or family is with replace with youtube to make you laugh, 

Strangers on Ig that make you feel welcome.

Radio to entertain you with current affairs,

Facebook to keep you uptodate.

you try to make new friends but everyone have a circle!

No new friends them said.

So you just sit down on the outside looking in,

and realized life is not the same,

people change and people go on with life,

Although you wish everything will remains the same.

img-20140929-wa0020.jpg

Journey of the Seasons

Spring is the beautiful birds that bring that wonderful sound to your ears,

Summer is the warm sun which kiss your face daily,

Fall is the wonderful trees that change into various wonderful colors

Winter is the cold days that turn into night.

For  two years and half year ,

I see and hear the various transformation of the four seasons.

It is a wonderful experience to enjoyed .

It bring excitement and  wonder what each season does bring each year.

Nature is an interesting phenomenon

It  can taugh us lessons

It can taugh us no distance is far enough

It can bring people together from far and near

But most of all it can be surreal.

Thank for bringing me  on the journey of the four various season

Mistakes

Sometimes I just wonder if I be so hard on myself? Most of the time I feel so lost . I always ask myself what is fun? Would I ever get to truly enjoy life? To me I just feel like a prisoner but just have more freedom. Everyday I know what going happen. In life you have dreams and goals . You do everything in your power just to make it until one mistake. To me when I look at it, it was carelessness from my side. Like how can I lost focus after it took me so long to get where I want to be. How can I let external forces interfere?

Caring

Do you ever  get negative vibes of a person?  That you just know that the person is up to no good. You could practically read the person body language so you warn the other person about the person intension but them say “oh give the person a chance”. Really , maybe I’m too harsh but why work so hard to let someone drag you down with them? I try tallking to the person but it fall on deaf ears. Then I’m the one that have to listen to they rant……… I just wish the person would listen seriously. I guess I’m too caring and observance . Life is about learning the hard way I guess

Thinking out loud

This year taugh me alot. It taught me who was actually there for me or who was with me . I now see why people say becareful who you become friends with. Your closest friends can becomes your enemy.To me I felt bad cause I don’t see them as friends , I saw them as family since my mom as pass away. But I guess I was wrong but then one thing I learned, things happens for a reason. In life we always try to force certain things but when we let God take control of our life , the right friends, relationships , jobs and other stuff would come into place. Your mind be at peace and you start to see wonderful stuff start to happen.